I have to write this story related by Jimmy Gilliam while I’m thinking about it.

I'll Sew You to the Bed!

When Robert Gilliam was growing up, his brother Jimmy tells that their mother Clercy Meeks Gilliam had a hard time getting him to do what she thought he ought to do.  One day after Robert had been particularly hard to corral, Clercy decided that the ultimate discipline had to be administered.  Since Robert was a big boy, bigger than his Mama, she had to do something to make sure that she had control of the situation when she disciplined him, so according to Jimmy, Miss Clercy sewed Robert to the bed, top cover to the bottom sheet, while he was asleep.  When that laborious chore was finished she brought in the chosen method of punishment, a plastic ball bat.  She laid into Robert, beating him from one end to the other while telling him about all the problems that he had caused in recent days. Robert was helpless to defend himself, so she got in a lot of good licks.  Robert began to beg his mother to stop, telling her that she would never have a minute’s trouble with him again.  After that session, Jimmy said that Robert acted like a gentleman around his Mama. 

My family thought this story was so hilarious that we now use the phrase, “You had better behave, I’ll sew you to the bed!”